my mind is complexual thing that not even i understand and i guess that the only way i could ever understand it is by looking.
always looking till theres no one cooking.
Dear tony, you son of a bitch I trust you with my phone again and you still go on my tumbler I swear something is wrong with you! Well as your reading this I guess you should know something like that your WEIRD. Haha I’m joking I don’t know what to say right now since I caught you hmmm maybe you should ask why I wrote this and I will most definetly answer ” I don’t know, WHY DO YOU KEEP ON LOOKING AT MY TUMBLER”?!? Well thank you for taking your lunch time to read all this and now I’m going to leave goodbye 😘
Sitting on the ground talking to no one is not soo bad. I have noticed myself liking it a lot. It’s as if I have time to myself. Like I’m coming from my own universe. I hate the weekends and most likely have found myself liking school away from family and all they’re words, and that is better than any other unknown crap.
The strange part of the day is the middle close to the end. Decisions are made and hearts are broken the only problem is to who does this heart belong with. I confused myself that being social is stupid and that people were just immature. When in reality I’m the loser of all this. I’m depressed and the question is why? I can’t even answer my own question not even behind all this “confidence”.
I have forgotten about this tumbler thing I made so now I’m just going to write how I feel and what’s going on. I found out that I am going to Nicaragua 100% sure no matter what my opinion is. Wow. Right when I start to like my school I’m already leaving it, now I have to make new friends and find my own meanings again. I have always been kind of a loner, other than the fact of my parents not ever letting me go out. If it was still my decision though I don’t think I’d be moving from the same spot since I have developed with not so many friends, and that I have found it weird being around people. The last time I thought my life was perfect was when I finally met my real family untill finding out all they are is greedy basterds who only think of me as a rich American family member. It’s wensday anyways. I stare at the same walls and do the same thing everyday, the only thing new of my days are the criticism I get from my mother and a 30 year-old pregnant bitch. My memories are pretty much my only place to hide (or only place I’m allowed to hide). Now I guess the only feeling I feel is anger and sadness, and that’s something that’s not new to me. Not even if I was supported.-_-
So I’m starting this thing called tumblr which is stupid since I’m going to move to another country in like a few months I guess. Any who this blog shit is going to be my new diary I will start it as: dear diary and soo on and say all my problems cause Im bored like that. For now I am going to write a heads up on what’s going on. Soo far my problem is that I have a crush on a cousin named Bryan. I then decided at that moment that I wanted to study there at my culture home town, Nicaragua. The only problem is now I don’t like him anymore and now I like another cousin who I think I do but now I have a decision to make of i want to go or not anymore. Hmm I know it doesn’t sound like a big problem but what ever. I’m just bored that’s all